Oops. Did I do that?
- Steve Urkle in Family Matters
Sometimes I do the stupidest things to myself. Sending the wrong text message to the wrong person is one of them. It's a standing joke amongst friends. I've lost count of the amount of times I've made a complete fool of myself having sent an embarrassing sms to someone who was definitely not meant to read it.
Coworkers have received messages from me asking them to "please buy some milk when you're on the way home". Friends I've asked to "call mom as she can't find that pan you'd used yesterday."
A while ago I had a bit of a thing for this guy. We chatted on instant messenger regularly and one fine day, in the midst of a pleasant conversation, I turned and made some comment to my sister. I don't remember what I said but she in turn bent down to the keyboard and on the chat window jokingly typed "I think you like me." She wasn't going to send it, but in my tizzy, halfway through our mini-scuffle, I hit enter.
Mortified? Who me? I should be used to it by now.
In the end, that incident didn't end up too badly. The track of our talk changed and he ended up confessing he liked me and asked me out.
Most of my dimwitted moments though, don't have such a happy ending.
This morning, I did the single most idiotic thing on the planet. Ahmet is having a house party this weekend which his wife had mentioned to me but for which I didn't really get a nice (formal) invite. I wouldn't usually be so anal about it, but since I don't really know her too well, and with my past history of awkwardness with Ahmet being what it is, I wasn't planning on going if one of them didn't call and request the pleasure of my company.
This morning when he did, I texted a mutual friend "You didn't tell Ahmet anything did you?" who do you suppose I sent it to? Take a wild guess? Ahmet. If I want to know what red-faced utter-chagrin looks like, I just have to look in the mirror.
My acts of shame have been recorded for posterity by a friend who made up a poem a few years ago. Read on, it's funny.
There was a cat who wore a hat
that was two sizes too big
it had green and purple polka dots
and it hid his little pink wig
The cat was merrily on it's way
to a beauty contest in town
Thinking smugly to himself
"With a hat like this, I'll snatch the crown"
Whilst on the way he met Polar bear
dressed like a ballerina
laughing out loud the cat he said
"Don't let the other guys see ya!"
The contest took off with a bang
The bear was a laughing stock
The cat was winning all the rounds
And smiled as if to mock
Then suddenly in awe the crowd went quiet
and looked in unison to the right
for walking gracefully on the stage
was (geek goddess) most stunning as turkish delight
She had on her a funky blouse
of stripes black and red
denim jeans that flared below
"It's friday you see" she said
She stopped and turned and to the judges smiled
that smile that only she could smile
the judges all fell off their chairs
that smile, that walk, that confectionary style!
The cat was mighty miffed at this
"Foul play" he cried, "don't you love my hat?"
the judges paid him no heed
as they watched (geek goddess) pirouette
She did a twirl and then a jig
her wiggly toes keeping beat
and as she her hair tossed back
the crowd sat stunned as if glued to seat
Then she cracked a joke she did
the audience in laughter burst out loud
her wit, her humour, her sarcy comebacks
would have made any jester proud
Then her phone did ring out beep
an SMS she had to put in motion
and as the crowd watched her fingers type
she sent a message... to the wrong person!
But for all her quirks and her bathroom singing
she's fun to be with and she has taste
the judges all agreed to this
and made her the winner pretty post haste
The prize was a huge moist chocolate cake
that disappeared in the blink of an eye
and they wondered not where it all went
when (geek goddess) let out a satisfied sigh
So the cat he walked off with a sulk
the bear couldn't care less
(geek goddess) decided to eat with a friend
just WHERE is anyones guess!
For (geek goddess)'s nice for all her whackiness
(and you can bet your chocolate on that!)
cause even when she has a bad hair day
she's far prettier than a cat in a hat!
