Party Hearty

It's almost christmas, and the year end parties have started with a bang. My weekends (and a lot of the work week) are almost completely choked up with plans. Even if that means dragging myself out of bed the next day wanting to die, so I can sleep some more. For eternity.

But the endless parties and meeting old friends and new strangers is always fun. What's even more fun is the hilarity - the absolute, utter hilarity - of being possibly the only stone-cold sober person at a wild party. Because you should know, the antics of the piss drunk make for some seriously good entertainment.

Since I'm usually the only one with a boring glass of juice (or at my most hair-down-all-caution-to-the-winds best, an ice cold red bull), I'm usually able to appreciate (more like, laugh till my tummy hurts and never let them forget for the remainder of their time on earth) their drunken acts of lunacy.

This one guy for instance, at last weekend's bash where almost everyone was plastered, all high on life (and a whole lot of other things). He wandered over and started talking (and I use the word loosely) about the cheesiness of old D grade Indian movies.

"All they do," he slurred drunkenly "is dance around trees," and tipsily tottered around the near by lit-up tree, then promptly fell off the steps next to it. He then stumbled back to our table, picking up the cloth napkins at each place-mat and stuffed them down his shirt.

"See," he said, "They cram napkins down their boobs. Then the hero comes and kneels at her chest while she breathes heavily," and proceeded to act it out, thrusting his chest spasmodically in the air, confidently playing the heavily panting, busty heroine.

I think it's time he came out of the closet.

It's not always so amusing though. A lot of the time when everyone's passing out left, right and centre, drinking themselves into oblivion, like it was last night at a friend's very lively, movie-themed party; I wonder whether most people can enjoy living and loving life without the aid of hazy, alcohol tinted glasses.

As someone who doesn't touch alcohol (by choice) and can go to a party and still have a blast, I feel sorry for people who have the need to zombify themselves. Getting a little tipsy and happy I can understand. But when you drink to a state that you couldn't recall your name if you had a gun to your head is just, I don't know, stupid.

I like to be able to talk coherently (as much as is possible above the deafening music), get home safe, sleep on my own bed, rather than crash out in crumpled clothes on a stranger's uncomfortable couch. And nurse a killer hangover the next morning.

Although grumpiness resulting from the late night + early morning wake up call for work, a missed breakfast due to having overslept and a skipped lunch trying to maniacally meet deadlines, comes pretty close.