Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I'd much rather be watching television

I was finally able to decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life. Well the next year anyhow. I accepted the offer with the most exciting job description. It doesn't pay quite as much as the one that I didn't truly want to do, but I figure if I work hard and network harder, I'll hopefully end up with my dream job (and with it, a dream paycheck) within a year or two. And anyway, the money isn't all that bad. And it's close to home. And it sounds incredibly bloody exciting.

So that's that.

I was recently introduced to this dude online. Arranged-like-marriage sort of situation. We've been set up and now it's up to us to see if we want to take it further. It's incredibly difficult to suss a guy out online, I mean it's complicated enough as it is in real life, can you imagine figuring out if someone is right for you over miles of fibre optic cable and electronic beeps? Ofcourse we'd meet in person if things took off, but that's where the problem lies.

I've had a similar not-so-great experience before. Having a crush on someone I met online, we instant messaged each other like crazy for two whole long years. Then, when we felt we'd moved on romantically, (and I knew for sure he didn't have bad teeth, or wasn't an axe murderer) we spoke on the phone for another six months before he came down to meet me. Oh. My. God. It wasn't like I hadn't seen his (photoshopped) pictures, but not only was I completely not attracted to him, he was, in person, a completely different guy. Egoistic, stubborn and aggressive. Not my type one little bit. Hell, I have trouble handling my own obstinacy.

I continued with the so-called relationship though, feeling horribly guilty for judging him for his looks. But I realised soon enough that there could be nothing serious between us because there was absolutely no chemistry. I hadn't even had the courage to let him kiss me. I was afraid I'd cringe, or even worse, he'd feel me shudder in distaste.

From that I've learnt how important physical attraction is to a relationship. I know a lot of people would be thinking "oh how shallow," but you don't want to wake up every morning next to a guy who startles you into consciousness. I'd rather be the one taking the initiative to spook my partner with bedraggled hair and a mascara-streaked face.

Not that I'm worried about physical chemistry here (why exactly I wrote the previous three long paragraphs about it then, I don't quite know), he seems like a nice guy, cute in a very coochie-coo sort of way (although I'm not so sure that's a good thing seeing he's all of 31), all the right credentials (doesn't live with his parents, has an education and a regular job), but he's not funny. I mean, he doesn't get my (mostly lame) jokes! (And that's worse than not thinking the world revolves around me.) On top of that, he writes worse than a lawyer. No wait, I take that back. I've received an email from a real lawyer that read "that was da best summer of my life i must say we was out of control. you better enjoy your hols cause work is wack!"

So maybe not the right comparison to make.

What I mean is that he uses words like 'idiosyncrasies' and 'invalidate' and 'intrinsic phenomena'. I mean seriously, who writes casual emails like that? Perhaps to a potential employer, definitely NOT to a person you're getting to know, hopefully romantically. And then, digging the weirdo hole deeper, he quotes himself - "and I said with palpable excitement in my tone". I mean what is that? Author in waiting? And I am his unwitting feedback? Does he want me to write back saying, "oh what wonderful prose. Your writing is so fluid and eloquent. You should get published!"?

I told you right. I always get the best ones. God doesn't want me to find a partner, He wants to try my patience. And entertain me.


Jo said...

That's quite shocking to read about. Why do you even give these people the time of the day, once you've discovered that that they're totally unattractive?

i'll have another one said...

hahahahha like i said before....enjoy the ride. and whats great is, that youre able to find the humour in this guy too (okay so maybe youre laughing AT him and not WITH him!). atleast you know now that he just doesnt do it for you...ok don't ask why (cos ive stopped asking why my brain does what it does) but i just wondered if you did actually get together and get married and have kids, your kid's teachers would get wicked wicked letters!

and about the physical aspect....bless you! ive been waiting for a girl to say it (without me having to get into a lifelong argument and have to pull out spreadsheets and data charts) and now you have. hell yeah! its important. that doesnt make you shallow...its just makes you more human. i say human cos you woman are already saintly enough to overlook 90% of us creature's mess-ups. though im gonna have to add that i hope this isnt the start of a dangerous trend and that looks still matter relatively less or else my chances or gonna be very screwed!

A Week In The Life of A Redhead said...

I've had some great online "friendships" that worked out great offline, and others where I wanted to move and go into the witness protection program. I think it works like life ... hit and miss. The online to offline thing can be difficult if one is not aware that they are reading the book before the movie. Sometimes the movie is better than the book ... other times we wish we'd saved our $10.00 and stuck with the book version. It can be said too that we have all dated the incredibly attractive [insert guy, girl, animal here] only to have them turn out to me our worst nightmare. It is personality and the ability to "get" eachother that creates that bond.
hmmmmm James Bond ... where is he?
Catherine, the redhead

HowToMe said...

You're writing is delightful!! Best Wishes for your new job and the online dating scene. My bil and sil found each other that way. :-)

(Blogging Chicks)

Zee DeVoSS said...

Excellent, you are so funny!:D
Good luck with your adventures!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hey Miss Goddess, forget all these geeky men, you need a big hairy gorilla in your life.

Geek Goddess said...

jo - hahaha ok i try not to be TOOOO superficial.. ive met a lotta guys who are not all that hot but have the funniest, craziest personalities (and the crazy i mean in a good way!).. so sometimes you have to give them a chance. unless he's 5 feet tall and has bad breath.

ill have another - lol.. wicked letters to teachers.. damn, has anyone ever told you you're very forward thinking? as in, fast fast forward. ofcourse looks are important. i mean, you dont have to be george clooney hot (ive had enough of brad pitt ok?) but there has to be a certain level of attraction. how else could you have kids together? haha

redhead - well said! im hoping my movie is better than my book. and that some guy im online-dating isn't blog-moaning about ME. unless its good things. But yes i think i'd be better in the movie. I also think the right lighting and camera angles (and a blonde curly haired wig) could make me look very juliet-like.

howtome - thank you, you give me hope!

zee devoss - thanks i need the luck!

gorilla - hahaha.. i think i have enough to deal with with just regular men. an over-weight, over-hairy, man-wannabe? not so much.

Mikiye Creations said...

Eh, I say you are only in your twenties!
You are young!
Take in all the relationship experiences that become available to you...after all, there are some people that DO find the right person for them. You will generally know. (So I am told)

Plus, it's all about really being honest to yourself...don't waste his time either if he is LOOKING for a longterm relationship and you KNOW he's NOT the one for you.

Yeah, THEY HAVE to make me laugh!

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

wow, I think you and I have dated the same man.

Just discovered your blog today. Great reading :-)